I looked for something more honest and real.
I searched and found lust unsatisfactory and success insufficient.
I ignored God and ran through the streets as I so desired, playing upon the merry stage of life like an empty fool, trying to feel.
I gathered friends in my hands like chocolate pralines to be gorged upon: nothing substantial to see me through.
I drank intellect like my tea, with a dash of milk, but no sugar: knowledge awakened my mind, but it did not sweeten my soul.
I encountered congregations of faith whose outstretched arms screamed love, yet they were rotting skeletons from within: sweet, sickly souls lacking strength, security and truth.
I stared at the trees and wondered at the seasons. I feared time and its speed; I leant longingly into the future with a sickness of worry and pessimism.
I travelled the world to find a new perspective and learnt new tongues so I could think a new: communication for communication’s sake left one cold and without a cause.
I stopped ignoring Him and began to see the life and hope in beings and trees.
When I cried my tears were not just salt and water.
When I laughed a symphony fell out of my mouth and when I drank from the cup of knowledge I felt engaged and alive.
Every encounter with another being simultaneously preempted and spontaneous: the perfect tension of free will and pre-destination.
I could not step onto new turf without the promise of possibility.
I couldn’t smell the air without knowing it would take my weight if I wanted to fly.
I ran like a lark ascending with wings growing stronger and wider with every breath.
I sang like the morning light: sweet, clear and new.
I danced like the rain on the pavement and loved in a purity bold and blue.
Real and honest it engulfed me this higher being with a cause.
It lay not in the words of a preacher or the melody of a hymn, but in the connection of spirit and soul.